The “Chinese” Way of Doing Things
By Samuel Ling
Since coming to
Later, when I served as youth director of a
Then I became pastor of a bilingual, bicultural church. It had ABC leaders and Hong Kong-born
leaders, and although we were friendly, there were times we suffered through
misunderstandings. After some thought,
I concluded that these misunderstandings were due to: a) pride and the flesh,
b) personality differences—some people were more outgoing, some more quiet, c)
conflicts between the interests and benefits of different sub-groups within the
church, and finally d) the differences in culture between OBC and ABC ways of
thinking. It is the purpose of this
article to try to build some understanding of these cultural differences.
However, before we get into
details, let’s go over some basic tenets about culture.
Then, if we dig deeper, there are beliefs
that people in a given culture share: these have to do with what they think
are “right.” For example, Americans believe in progress through science and
technology. If a firm makes so much
profit this year, it must do better the next year. Chinese, however, can often accept much
social change—even a political revolution—without either hope or despair. Things come and go, but the way of heaven-the
way of the Tao—remains. So the Chinese develop a more resigned attitude toward
change.
Finally, at the center of each
culture is its worldview: what is “real” to people in that culture. For example, Americans and most Westerners
view man as the conqueror (or exploiter) of nature. Chinese, however, view man as the partner, or
correlate of nature. A typical Chinese
painting portrays tall mountains and deep rivers, and a small fisherman fishing
in his little boat, or a tiny lady sewing inside a hut. Man is part of nature; the meaning of his
life lies in harmonizing with nature.
Second, what is culture according
to the Bible? It is man’s response to
his God-given task to take care of the world.
God has called upon man from the beginning to take care of the created
world and to improve the quality of life (Gen. 1:28,
Third, why do we need to
understand culture? Though we would like
to think that we can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, overcome any
misunderstandings and just “talk things over,” if we are humble and honest
enough, we must admit we are indeed strongly influenced by our culture. And the way we say and do things can detract
from what we say and do.
For instance, if I am an ABC and
think everyone is equal and call an elderly OBC by his first name and then
present, the Gospel, he may be so offended by the “lack of respect” I have
shown, he completely tunes out my message.
God calls us to be ambassadors for
Christ. Our supreme mission is to
communicate the message of reconciliation accomplished by Christ’s death and
resurrection. But we need to be sure
that our message is not distorted by our cultural bias, or misunderstood by our
hearers because of their cultural perspectives.
God also calls us to be
servants. The whole mentality of a
servant is to understand the needs of those we serve that we may help meet
those needs. By understanding a person’s
culture, we get a key into how they think and what they perceive their needs to
be. Perhaps an ABC is really looking for
purpose in life. To tell him that the
Gospel offers him a place with God after he dies may not interest him. Eventually he will learn that truth, but
perhaps first he needs to hear that Jesus has made each of us unique and gives
us each a special purpose and potential, which sin has crippled.
Paul is willing to look at his own culture (Judaism) with
the searching light of the gospel: he knows that, as a former Pharisee, the
righteousness of God is revealed quite apart from, and as a challenge to, the
works-oriented way of salvation known as “the law” (Rom. 3:21-24). So Paul’s love for the people of his own
culture is not uncritical. His love is
not blind. It is realistic, because it
is for the sake of the gospel. It is
realistic, because he has let the light of the gospel probe and purge his
culture.
Paul knows his commission from the Lord Jesus to be an
apostle to the Gentiles, that he may bring about “the obedience of faith” of
the nations (
With Paul’s example and attitudes in mind, let’s now
investigate differences between OBC and ABC cultures. We should understand that Western culture
values the autonomous individual; Chinese culture values the cohesiveness of
the family, or clan. That is why in
Chinese culture, an individual must not “stand out like a sore thumb.” Actions
which are perfectly natural in American society—talking about one’s
achievements and celebrating them—would be taboo in Chinese society. Such behaviors may be interpreted as “showing
off,” “pride,” or worse, “disrespect.”
Let’s take a specific everyday
example. A Chinese-American graduates
from college. His parents come on
campus, bringing Chinese food and talking loudly as they arrive. They complain about the American food on
campus, and want to know where they can take pictures. The Chinese-American is thoroughly
embarrassed, and perhaps also completely infuriated. “This is my graduation, and you have
humiliated me in front of my peers!” What the graduate doesn’t understand, is
that the family has adopted the graduation event as a communal
celebration. The son/daughter going off
to college is a communal family affair—the parents have worked hard to pay for
the college education with their blood, sweat and tears. Now all that sacrifice is paying off—so it is
time for the whole family to celebrate.
‘Two understandings of the same graduation event—one Western, one
Chinese-can lead to much conflict.
Take the wedding as another example. A Christian young couple is engaged, and
secures June 10 as the date for the wedding.
They have contacted their friends in the Youth Fellowship, all of whom
rejoice with them and volunteer to prepare refreshments, decorate the
reception hall, drive the bridal car, take pictures, etc., etc. The Fellowship even cancels its weekly
meeting on June 10. All of a sudden,
however, the parents want to change the date, because it is “unlucky.”
Furthermore, they augment the guest list to three times the original size. They insist on an elaborate wedding banquet
in the best, largest Chinese restaurant in town. Every last relative must be
invited. Nothing less will do.
The young people are
infuriated. They come to complain to the
pastor and the youth counselor. What
should they do? All the plans are set,
and now the parents “pull this one on us.”
What is happening, again, is that
the parents look upon the wedding as a communal event. They, the parents, are
the hosts of the wedding. They decide
which relatives and friends to invite, because it is they who are bringing into
their family a daughter-in.law! To the Chinese parents, the bridegroom and the
bride are almost incidental to the wedding; the important thing is that the
family is getting married with another family.
Hence the bickering over the gifts, whether or not to distribute Chinese
pastries to relatives, how many tables of guests are assigned to the bride’s
family, and how much to tip the waiters.
All of these minute details are ways to celebrate the climax of the
sweat, blood and tears for all the years—they are going to get a
daughter-in-law, and soon will become grandparents!
Now let, us see how these insights
can be applied to the church. Often when
the Chinese church tries to evangelize the community, it often ends up
reaching the individual at the neglect of the family. For example, a church tries all methods of
evangelism—crusades, films, Chinese classes, English classes, and vacation
Bible schools. And it discovers that the
easiest group of people to bring into the church building are the children and
the youth. Usually, parents of young
children are grateful to the church: “my kids need to socialize with other
Chinese kids,” “my daughter needs to learn Chinese,” “my son needs to know how
to get along with others in a Chinese way.” So they bring their children to
Sunday school, or Chinese class, or Vacation Bible school.
So what does the church do? It makes demands on the teenage convert to
attend Sunday school, worship services, youth meetings, discipleship
cell-groups, camps, social events, outings ... so the young person by now has
developed a whole new set of friends, none of whom his/her parents recognize
from before! No wonder the parents
become suspicious of the church. If the
new convert’s behavior at home improves (helps with household chores, does not talk
back or argue with parents), no major problems develop. But as the new convert spends less and less
time at home, due to church activities, the parents feel that they have lost a
son/daughter.
What has happened is that the
Chinese church has adopted a Western cultural value—the importance of the
individual—while trying to evangelize a basically Chinese social unit—the
family. How much better if the church
learns to communicate with the parents from the very beginning of the
evangelistic process! How much better if
the church, in its evangelistic efforts, seeks to demonstrate to the parents
that they are respected and honored as the heads of the family.
On the OBC side, parents and
church leaders would do well to understand the individualism of the more
Americanized Chinese. Individual privacy
and integrity lie at the very heart of the American cultural value system. It is something the young people grow up
with; to deny this is to deny their selfhood.
For instance, let’s say the young
people in a church demand an English-language service. The pastor and older laypeople think the
better solution in meeting the needs of the “young people” (even though these
“youth” are in their 30’s and have children of their own!) is to have the
Chinese service translated into English.
The ABC young adults feel that they will not be properly fed from
Scripture if they have to sit through a bilingual service. So they list reasons why there should be an
English service. The pastor is handed
this list. He responds with bouts of
anger. “Don’t you know that this is a
Chinese church?” he roared. “You are
Chinese! You should speak Chinese! And we are doing you a favor by translating
the service into English! What more do
you want?”
The young adults, feeling
humiliated by such an unsympathetic shepherd, gather to lick their
wounds. Some draft proposals to start an
English service despite the disapproval of the church authorities. Others simply leave the church, and begin
attending a Caucasian, or Japanese-American church nearby. Still others—unfortunately a lot of them—leave
the church, never to attend another church again.
I am not trying to determine the
pros and cons of an English service here. (Personally, I would opt for the
separate English service, with an English-speaking pastor, most likely an ABC!)
What I am trying to describe, however, are two different ways of looking at a
situation. Again the difference lies in
the two cultures, Chinese and American.
The American way of doing things
says: when you face a problem, when a need arises in a group, you make a
study. You look at what the concrete
needs are, and what are some options, and which is the optimal way to meet the
need. Then you write up a proposal,
listing the costs and benefits, and present the proposal to the board. And if the board is half-way intelligent, it
should buy the proposal, and appropriate funding from the budget. This is the way things are done in any
American corporation; this is the way things should be done in the church as
well.
The Chinese way of doing the same
thing is: there is a problem. There are
needs. Now, as we try to find a solution
to meet the need, how can we do so without offending anyone? How can we make sure that the pastor
continues to command the respect of the young people (even though they are
30-plus years old)? How can we make sure
that the two congregations which will emerge—Chinese-speaking and
English-speaking—will get along with one another? How can we prevent clique-ishness? Whose “face” will be lost? Who will suffer a sense of insecurity in the
process? How will the older people fit
into the new scheme of things—will they feel out of place? We have always done things in this way—preserving
face for everyone, especially the pastor and the board; naturally this is the
way to handle this situation with the ABCs.
If the Chinese church, a
bicultural institution, is to survive the next 50 years, we must learn to
compromise between the two ways of doing things.
A third difference lies in the way
ABCs and OBCs see authority. Westerners
treat everyone as equals, whereas Chinese give respect to elders. For example a board meeting at a bilingual
church is held in English. An
English-speaking person is discussing the pros and cons of a new proposal. And
he turns to the pastor and says, “We believe this proposal best meets the
spiritual needs of our English-speaking, people.” And he fully expects the
pastor, who is awkward in English, to respond with his own set of pros and cons
on the issue. What the English-speaking
person expects is a genuine debate to ensue.
He has treated his pastor as an equal, because he treats everyone else
in society as equals. He talks to his
boss at work this way, so naturally the pastor is addressed in a similar
fashion.
The pastor feels humiliated.
He remains silent for a while, then mumbles something to the effect that
“you young people don’t really understand the situation.” What the pastor is
trying to communicate is: “I am the pastor.
Don’t treat me as your equal; treat me with respect. And if you respect your elders, you don’t
talk to them like this!”
For thousands of years Chinese people have been accustomed
to a hierarchical pattern of leadership.
There is the emperor on top, with different gradations of government
officials beneath him. At the local
level there are the landowners (gentry) who act as the middlemen between the
peasants and the local government official (the magistrate). Everybody knows who the “big men” are in
town—the heads of the landowning households.
And they are addressed as “ta-jen” (in Cantonese, dai yan), meaning,
“great person.” In another sphere of life, students address their teacher as
“master,” or “teacher” (hsien-sheng, or in Cantonese, sin sang). Fifty years after the student graduates, he
still addresses the former teacher as “hsien-sheng,” bringing gifts at New
Year and other occasions. The student’s
parents continue to address the former teacher “hsien sheng,” always finding
means to show gratitude for having nurtured their son. Such is the way the Chinese look upon a
person who exercises some leadership role in society.
What ABCs need to do is to show sufficient respect to the
OBC pastor, in order to establish rapport and communication. Once the pastor is assured that the ABC is
loyal, the stage is set for harmonious cooperation. OBC pastors, on their part, need to accept
the more egalitarian way in which American organizations operate. They need to find their sense of security in
Christ, and not feel threatened just because a young adult fails to show him
the proper respect (which only a person immersed in Chinese culture would appreciate).
Such rules and regulations make a Chinese-American
weary. And when the young person brings
a friend home, he is further embarrassed by how the mother piles food on top of
the visitor’s rice bowl, and insists, “You must eat! You are a growing boy! Eat!” Doesn’t Mom know that we know how to
use chopsticks, and we can get our own food into our bowls? And doesn’t she know that this is too much
for anyone to eat, without indigestion?
Rules and regulations are ways the Chinese community
preserves harmony, order and respect.
Think of “respect” as the Chinese equivalent of “love.” If you really
love your parents, you study hard, and say “Good Morning, Father” every day
first thing in the morning. When you
enter the living room, whether leaving the house or coming back home, you
always address “Father” or “Mother” before moving on with your business. Such respect is appreciated by the elder person
who concludes, “This young person is a really good person; he/she will go
far. I like him/her.”
The ABC would do well to express “love” to his parents in
ways that they can understand-bringing the first paycheck home to the parents;
bringing home some food (fruits, or meat) from Chinatown; observing the
parents’ birthdays. In church, saying
“Pastor so-and-so, Good Morning!” would go a long way to winning that pastor over
to the ABC segment of the church. Respect
spells love. The OBCs, on the other
hand, have a great deal to learn about showing genuine emotions with their
family and friends. Love that is never
demonstrated may be never received.
A fifth difference lies in the way ABCs and OBCs view
themselves. Americans are used to talk
about their strengths and accomplishments.
One may add that American Christians are also used to talking about
their weaknesses and failures, with their friends and, increasingly in public
(witness the articles in Leadership magazine). American churches are used to Christians
giving testimonies of how God has used them, and the whole congregation
rejoices.
The Chinese, however, are used to holding their accomplishments
and accentuating their weaknesses in public.
In applying for a job in America, the Chinese is modest in saying, “I
know a little about computers,” while he may hold a master’s or doctoral degree
in computer science. The American
employer expects the applicant to list his accomplishments. The Chinese has been trained to hide them
instead.
In dealing with traditional
Chinese, one must be careful not to be too “flashy” about one’s credentials or
accomplishments. While giving thanks to
God for the ways He is using us, we must be careful to note for our Chinese
friends that “In and of myself, I can do nothing.” Our admission of our weaknesses
is a way we identify with those we talk to.
We are saying. “We are equals; I
am not your superior.”
ABCs are often annoyed by these
statements of politeness. For example,
while the ABC would say, “Thanks for that delicious dinner and a delightful
evening” to the host, an OBC might say, “I am sorry I caused you so much
trouble; you must have prepared for this for days.” While an ABC master of
ceremonies would say to the guests, “I’m glad you came,” the OBC says, “Thanks
for giving up your valuable time.” This does not mean that while dealing with
OBC elders, we must first crucify our self-confidence. On the contrary! Those with real
self-confidence would be willing to accommodate to the other person’s way of
doing things, in order to win him.
A word about security—the OBCs
often say that the ABCs have an identity crisis; that they don’t know who they
are, therefore suffer from a lack of self-confidence. The ABCs, as a matter of fact, do not have a
monopoly on the identity problem. The
Chinese race as a whole has suffered from a corporate identity crisis for the
past 150 years. And lack of confidence
and security has plagued our people as a whole.
The Bible tells us that true security comes from the Lord, who is our
shelter and our strength. In Christ we
are made free.
The world is dying to get some
security: it takes secure, free people to help make others secure and
free. The Christian has the only true
source of security. Let’s share it with
others!
Meanwhile, it would not hurt at
all if OBCs (and ABCs, too) learn to verbally affirm and appreciate the traits
and deeds of another person. We are so
generous with reprimands and criticism, so stingy with compliments. If this is what being a Christian means, who
would want to become one?
The OBC and ABC differ in a sixth
area of how they regard organization.
Whereas the western mindset is oriented to things logical, cognitive and
intellectual, the traditional Chinese mind is oriented to the
mystical-poetical and to the pragmatic-social.
The ABC is used to organizational
structures. We are taught to think in
terms of structures and goals. We learn lines
of authority, and hierarchical diagrams.
We define each position in an organization with title and job
description, complete with criteria for evaluation and termination policy. We then organize teams to accomplish
objectives, and call meetings either to plan or to evaluate progress. We write memoranda, we take and approve
minutes, we write reports, we keep files, we computerize our data. We accept people into the membership of the
church with ceremony and certificate; we assign them tasks and give them
titles. We send our young men off to
seminary to earn degrees, then we ordain them and call them “Reverend.”
Translated into everyday life,
this means that the Chinese mind is basically uncomfortable with organization,
red-tape, paper-work, official and formal lines of authority, formal membership
in an organization and business meetings.
The Western mind is “left-brain” oriented, it is cognitive; the Chinese
mind is more “right-brain” oriented; it is aesthetic. We as people have learned to operate in the
Western world of productivity and efficiency as a means of corporate
survival. We become engineers,
accountants and doctors in a subconscious effort to survive in the modern
world. So the OBC living in the west
either learns to adjust, or experiences a traumatic personal transformation.
What does an ABC Christian
do? How could life go on in the church
without clearly defined lines of criteria of authority and function; without
job descriptions, criteria of evaluation, and business meetings? The Bible speaks of the church as a
body. It also regards the church as an
organization—the Bible gives qualifications for leaders, and also provides a
structure for church leadership. I think
here it is not a matter of choosing between having an organizational apparatus
and not having one. Rather it is a
matter of making sure that the OBC leadership understands what a group is
trying to do, before the OBC receives the memo or report; before the
formal meeting takes place; before he is made aware of the formal lines
authority. Build the relationship;
organizational matters will follow smoothly.
Ignore the rapport with the leaders, and no matter how much organizing
you do, things will not be understood.
Things don’t get done.
It is an art to understand the
ambiguities of the Asian way of doing things.
And just like any art, practice makes perfect. Spending time with the Chinese people will
help one understand this ambiguous style.
Whether one is at home with a cognitive or an aesthetic, a
left-brain or a right-brain culture, we need to be a “total-brain” people,
reaching out in wisdom and in love in the name of Christ.
Seventh, leadership is earned differently between ABC and
OBC cultures. We in Western society are
used to formalized means of recognizing leadership. We recognize a person with an academic
degree, or a professional license. In
church, we recognize a person with a Master of Divinity and one who has been
ordained. We put him in charge of a congregation,
and he (in many churches) presides over the official board. Such leadership positions are accepted by all
who know how the organization works.
In Chinese circles, however, the axiom “Respect is earned,
not conferred” really comes into play.
Chinese laypeople recognize the pastor as leader not because he has a
degree, or is ordained, but rather because he has demonstrated himself to be a
leader through years (note the underscoring of the word “years”) of
consistent, faithful service. The
Chinese responds to a coordinator of clean-up as one who also cleans up; to a
transportation coordinator who also drives and gives rides; to a coordinator of
Christian education who also teaches Sunday School as well; to a pastor who
serves Christ humbly, both in the pulpit and in the janitor’s closet. This does not mean the Chinese church should
make the pastor do everything. This is
just to say humble service is what people recognize as a sign of leadership.
Thus, an ABC cannot automatically expect respect in the
Chinese church. First, he must
demonstrate he is truly filled with the Holy Spirit, and an effective
communicator. After all, this is what
the church expects of any OBC leader.
And in a way, this is most Biblical: as James says, our actions must
back up words.
Also, the ABC leader should keep in mind that the OBC sees
leaders in terms of relationships, not function. An exam. ple of this from Chinese history can
be seen in how the Chinese warlords in the early 20th century
demanded personal loyalty from his soldiers—loyalty not to his army, but to
him. Thus, some OBC laypeople have a
hard time getting along with a pastor who speaks only on a business level. Just issuing memoranda to the people, asking
them to fill out surveys, making a “Suggestions Box,” etc. will not
suffice. They do not respond to that
type of leadership. Instead, there needs
to be the personal reaching out to people—to discover what they are thinking
and show the leader is truly interested in their feedback and welfare. This is what Chinese expect in a. leader.
Not only is leadership earned differently, but expectations,
toward leaders vary. An ABC pastor may
think that if he fulfills his job description or the organizational chart,
that’s it. Anything else he does for his congregation is his own choice, and if
he chooses not to, it does not mean he is not a good leader. But for an OBC congregation, a leader is seen
as a symbol of values cherished by the community. Thus he is expected to
perform a sundry list of community functions: for example, to be present at a
birthday or “red-egg” banquet; to settle a household conflict; to give advice
whether a fam should invest in such and such a business; to offer counsel as to
which college or major a young person should choose; etc.
Most often, the pastor is asked by
the parents to “tell the kid to straighten up,” to behave and to respect his
parents. And very often the pastor’s
wife acts as solicited or unsolicited matchmaker!
ABCs tend to become annoyed with
these extra burdens placed on their lives.
What the Americanized person needs to understand is the tremendous importance
of these rituals of value affirmation for the Chinese family and
community. If the gospel is to make an
impact upon the Chinese community, indigenous Christian ways of affirming
Christian values must be designed for the Chinese people, so that they may
celebrate the Lordship of Christ in a cultural form which they recognize
and esteem.
Finally, there is the difference in how to resolve
conflicts. In Americanized circles,
verbal, direct confrontation is normal, and expected. When a person does something wrong, he should
be informed, in person, orally, directly. In Chinese circles, however, direct
confrontation is “face-destroying.” It tears apart the fabric with which the
community is woven. A more accepted way
of dealing with conflict is through indirect conciliation. For example, a person wants to voice a
complaint in the church. He speaks to a
responsible layperson, and that middleman brings up the subject with the pastor
or the official board.
Instead of directly confronting an OBC person, the ABC can
employ the technique of first approaching an English-speaking OBC, who
understands both the ABC’s point of view, and the cultural forms of the OBC
involved. By going through this route,
the OBC’s face is saved, and one has won a brother. Why not?
What is there to lose?
The traditionally trained OBC, on
the other hand, needs to learn how to “speak up” and make known his/her
opinions in front of a group, or in a meeting.
Such direct communication, is necessary for the proper functioning of
Christ’s Body (Phil. 2:1-2).
We are living in a transitional
age. The OBC leaders in the Chinese
church increasingly recognize that they, too, are living in a transitional
age. The future leadership belongs to
the English-speaking, to the ABCs. The
ABCs very often feel that the OBC pastor doesn’t understand this. From my own conversations with OBC pastors,
I find that most of them do understand it.
The problem is: the transition
must take its course through a whole generation. Some of us cannot wait that long, I can
understand their feelings. However we
are talking about moving a whole culture, deeply entrenched in a millenium-old
tradition, to a modern, Western style of organization and leadership. Even more importantly, we are talking about
transforming both OBC and ABC culture according to the light of the gospel
(this subject is beyond the present article).
It is no small task! It is going
to be painful for those who cherish the tradition; it will be a tremendous
responsibility for the new generation to pick up the baton.
The baton belongs to the future
leaders. Will they be patient and
understanding, so that when the time comes, they will indeed step on to the
front stage of the Chinese church?
(Reprinted from Chinese Around the World, June-August, 1984. With permission from Chinese Coordination
Centre of World Evangelism.)